The 'Official PCR Bad Joke' Thread!
- Thread starter TriplexDread
- Start date
cirianz
Chatter Box
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Taffycat
Crunchy Cat
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Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
A: I was shocked!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
I gave my dead batteries away - free of charge!
If you can think of a better fish pun... let minnow!
A: No, but April May.
Q: When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof...
A: I was shocked!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investigator.
I gave my dead batteries away - free of charge!
If you can think of a better fish pun... let minnow!
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*groan*
Taffycat
Crunchy Cat
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That's what we need... much more groaning! Altogether now... 
Q: How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
A: Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
A: Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They
A: Take The Psycho Path
Q: How Do You Get Holy Water?
A: You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
Q: What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A: A Nervous Wreck.
Q: What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
A: Anyone Can Roast Beef.
Q: Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
A: Right Where You Left Him.
Q: Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A: Because They Have Big Fingers.
Q: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A: A doctopus!
Q: How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
A: Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
A: Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They
A: Take The Psycho Path
Q: How Do You Get Holy Water?
A: You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
Q: What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A: A Nervous Wreck.
Q: What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
A: Anyone Can Roast Beef.
Q: Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
A: Right Where You Left Him.
Q: Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A: Because They Have Big Fingers.
Q: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A: A doctopus!
nivrip
Yorkshire Cruncher
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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch,they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch,inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says,'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only
be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says,'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch,they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch,inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says,'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
it will cost 99 cents a word.
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only
be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says,'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'
nivrip
Yorkshire Cruncher
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I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law the other night
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'
I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it.
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'
I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it.
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nivrip
Yorkshire Cruncher
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A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said, “I havn't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
“What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The publican replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them s*** in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the publican. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird s***."
"It was my first day with the hook."
“What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The publican replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them s*** in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the publican. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird s***."
"It was my first day with the hook."
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[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
[/FONT]
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"
[/FONT]