Hiya everybody peeps, update. Here’s part of an email I sent an American lady friend of mine I met on a Texas based forum about 8 years ago, I guess you could call us ‘good virtual friends’ and we correspond frequently. Rather than type all this out again I’ll just copy & paste, this was sent two days ago:
The lump on my tongue is still there and it’s quite painful. It may have got a little bigger, not sure. Have been doing salt water mouth washes and using ointment, makes no difference except to say they do ease the pain a great deal. A week after I saw the consultant I visited dentist and she said the lump was ‘very suspicious’ and urged me to get a biopsy on it as soon as possible. Which pretty much said she thought it was cancer. So I have been living in a constant state of anxiety ever since and I am very scared.
But this dentist, she’s young, about 25, Indian/asian, decidedly dull looking and a bit fat. Sorry, but that’s the truth. She’s still under the tutelage of the senior dentists and has to consult them to discuss any decisions she might make. From the start I sensed an unease about her. When she extracted a tooth from me recently she warned me that as the bone was exposed and if an infection set into the bone, it may lead to my whole jaw being removed. Now, I knew this thing, I was well briefed five or six years ago on this, radio and chemotherapy weakens immune system, but she was the first one since to mention it again. I looked in her eyes and I sensed she was getting some sense of pleasure by messing up my head. Plus, in six years at this dentists place, not one gum injection has ever hurt. But hers did, and really badly. Then she tells me my lump is ‘Very suspicious’ She even called over a male student to study it, trying to confirm to me even more it’s cancer. So make of that what you will, after all this time I reckon I can judge people fairly well and I think our young dentist may be a rogue.
Here’s the letter from my consultant to my GP (General Practitioner, family doctor) from after I first saw him:
‘It was a pleasure to review Mr Stompus in the head and neck clinic. He remains well with no evidence in the primary site and the neck.
He recently was complaining of a traumatic ulcer when he bit his tongue on the left side. He was eating a sharp object which was dry. The area is slowly healing. It is very painful. It looks like a traumatic ulcer. I have given him some Orobase ointment to be applied topically for the next 2 weeks and I will see him back at that time just to check there are no problems’
All well and good but this Friday when I see him again it will have been five weeks since I saw him, not 2 weeks. Maybe that’s because he considers it non-urgent? They are very busy after all, lots of cancer about. And it’s now been eight weeks since I first noticed the lump. So I’m really not sure. But I sure as hell am worried. We shall see what transpires. I expect when I see him he will book me in for a biopsy and then for some surgery to remove whatever the hell this thing is. I would imagine if biopsy reveals cancer I’m pretty much messed up one way or the other. The whole thing about this though is mostly the way it’s messin’ with my head, it’s horrible.
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And so this morning I go to see the consultant again. It was a very brief meeting, I was in and out in around ten minutes. To sum up: He said he still wasn’t worried about it; it hadn’t, in his opinion, got bigger; the fact it is (very) painful is good, cancer doesn’t hurt in early stages; and he reminded me that my immune system in that area is pretty much shot since radio and chemotherapies carried out meaning that where most folk’s immune system would clear up an ulcer, mine probably couldn’t cope with an aggressive ulcer. Also, the fact I don’t produce much saliva since treatment means the ulcer could also thrive as a human’s saliva is a natural medicine against oral nasties.
So he’s booked me in for surgery in two or three weeks time and will cut the ulcer out and stitch the incision on my tongue together. He tells me it will be very sore for a week or two but I’m having trouble eating with the ulcer (if it is an ulcer) anyway so I’ll willingly suffer that to be shot of this thing. Looks like soft or liquid foods for a little while then. I was offered local numbing of tongue for surgery or mild anaesthetic and after he described what he was going to do I opted for the mild knockout – coward eh?
Then once he’s removed the lump they will perform a biopsy on it and in his words ‘Just to remove all doubt’. I am still scared as hell but I caught the train home from London Bridge feeling decidedly uplifted, my main man rates my chances much higher than some uppity sadist dentist, who, I have just recalled, spoke to the students with her like crap as well. Hmm. Not out of the woods yet but feeling better. So that’s Emergency Ward 10 (who remembers that, lol) onto other things.
My daughter has moved out, and on Wednesday I visited her new home and fitted a new ceiling lamp in her bedroom, fitted TV bracket to wall and also fixed a big mirror to the wall for her. As I don’t have a car at the moment and my tools are heavy, her mother (my ex number 2) is visiting and offered to pick me and my tools up and after the work bring me home again. Now I haven’t spoken to Gill apart from a cursory nod and spoken ‘hello’ at family gatherings for ten years so I was a little nervous. But I shouldn’t have worried really, the conversation was a little stiff, I think we were both feeling a little odd, but we didn’t attempt to tear each other’s throats out and we didn’t argue. In fact we chatted amicably the whole time. I guess time heals eh? She is now working as a carer and also buys up antique furniture, restores it and sells on for a profit and I said to her ‘good for you’ whilst thinking ‘that’s a man’s job’ lol Me? Sexist pig? Never! Heehee At one point she also said ‘You must agree Tony, we did manage to produce some beautiful daughters’. Well, I think that’s true but it kinda embarrassed me.So I said ‘that’s a bit of a girly thing to say and I feel awkward but yes, I suppose we did’. Kinda threw me, that one.
My mate Fat Guts visited on Tuesday, was good to see him, took my mind off possible cancer, he drank most of my coffee, we talked, we reminisced and designed electronic audio circuits, true nerds eh? Fat Guts (Peter) is now diabetic and has to inject himself with insulin everyday, I’m not sure I could do that. He’s six years younger than me but still, ain’t age just wonderful?
Recently it was late in the evening and I was, as usual, tiddly at that time of night and I spotted a Lenco GL75 turntable for sale on Ebay. I already have one but something compelled me to bid for it. And bloody hell, I won it. Cost me £67.55 including postage and it works very well. It was just the chassis but that is actually a good price, they’re sought after and fetching good money.
I have now stripped it down made a plywood template for it’s plinth, taken the arm off, given it a thorough service with grease and oil involved and cleaned it up a bit. Have also removed arm lift mechanism, not needed.
I intend to spray turntable base glossy black and mount in a slate plinth. Have just had quote from local monumental stone mason to make plinth for £180. If that sounds a lot it’s actually very good, have a look at this link for a commercially available product:
http://www.slate-audio.co.uk/page8.htm That’s for a Garrard 401 but they are making one for Lenco GL75 that will be about the same price. So-called ‘High end Hi-Fi’ is often sold at inflated prices to appeal, perhaps, to snob value, often same thing can be made at home for a helluva lot less. May not look so good but we’re talking sound here, not aesthetics.
I also have a Decca Pivot arm that just happens, conveniently, to drop into Goldring arm mount hole perfectly plus I’ll be fitting a Denon 103 moving coil cartridge, now costing £128 instead of the £108 I paid for one almost two years ago. Will post pics when it’s finished.
Anyhow, that’s what’s going on with me, haven’t rabbited on about Gamez but been having a lot of fun on the Xbox 360 lately, managed to get past a few ‘stuck spots’ with a little perseverance and felt good about that.
Closing note: films. I am never, ever, up to date in what I watch, always about 6 months behind but it is SO much cheaper that way. So, watched Thor – loved it. And last night watched Hugo. That’s my kind of film, thoroughly enchanting. I thought ‘Blow me, that geezer playing the policeman with the gammy leg looks like Ali G/Borat.’ And yes, it was him, Mr Cohen, playing the part. If you like films that are a little different, engage the emotions and introduce interesting characters, check out Hugo.
Goodnight folks, hope you’re all well
