Quad's Humour Thread

Kidding.webp


Who do you think you are kidding, Mrs von der Leyen?
 
Some One Liners for all those starving due to shortage of jokes!

  • I've always wondered if chickens communicated using foul language. maybe only when they're egg-cited.
  • An invisible man married an invisible woman. the kids were nothing to look at either.
  • i didn’t think the chiropractor would improve my posture. but i stand corrected.
  • i took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. she called me a cheapskate.
  • Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. it’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.
  • i used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. she was in charge of the hops.
  • My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. i found out she was seeing someone on the side.
  • My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it.
  • Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16? the difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
  • i told my carpenter i didn’t want carpeted steps. he gave me a blank stair.
  • What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? suture self.

:D:D:D:D:D
 
Christianity is Indian

Jesus worked for his father: Indian.

Jesus's parents had children without having sex: Indian. - Fed 5000 people with two loaves and five fishes: Indian picnic.

Moses: the people came unto him with their suffering. He went up the mountain, and came back with two tablets, because he was a pharmacist.

Noah: came from a land where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. He was Bengali.

Walls of Jericho: walk around it seven times, blow trumpet, the whole thing falls down. Indian builders.

Samson: big strong man, long hair. Cut his hair, lie as weak as a child, because he was sikh.

God: NOT Indian. In six days he created the Heaven and the Earth and everything upon it, and on the seventh day, he rested. What kind of Indian doesn't work Sundays?

-Goodness Gracious Me

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
I got fired from my job at the bank today....

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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