Help me .......................

  • Thread starter Thread starter Becky
  • Start date Start date
B

Becky

Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having loads of
trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP Home
Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they there or
do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do a
simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit having to
ask such a silly question .... but do need help. Thanx
very much.
Becky
 
Microsoft Works and Microsoft Office are separate programs which must be
purchased.

--
Larry Samuels MS-MVP (Windows-Shell/User)
Associate Expert
Expert Zone -
Unofficial FAQ for Windows Server 2003 at
http://pelos.us/SERVER.htm
 
Becky said:
Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having loads of
trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP Home
Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they there or
do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do a
simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit having to
ask such a silly question .... but do need help. Thanx
very much.
Becky

Oh Hades, another one! You know, had you bothered to use Google for the
purpose it was intended, you could have saved yourself the embarrassment!
You're more than a "total twit". Suggest you learn the difference between an
operating system and an Office suite. Name me one version of Windows that
has ever had Excel or Works (Word?) included?! Don't tell me - you didn't
ask for it because you thought it came with Windows...? What an idiot!
 
Not everyone is as smart or narcissistic as you.
Miss Perspicacia Tick said:
Oh Hades, another one! You know, had you bothered to use Google for the
purpose it was intended, you could have saved yourself the embarrassment!
You're more than a "total twit". Suggest you learn the difference between an
operating system and an Office suite. Name me one version of Windows that
has ever had Excel or Works (Word?) included?! Don't tell me - you didn't
ask for it because you thought it came with Windows...? What an idiot!
 
You sound absolutely lovely, long blonde hair, blue eyes,
slim waist, now to answer the question...you must buy the
applications you want. WORKS has a simple word processor
and flat-file spreadsheets and database, WORKS SUITE adds
the WORD program and OFFICE has WORD, EXCEL, and OUTLOOK, to
get ACCESS you need the OFFICE Pro version.

--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.


message | Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having loads of
| trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP Home
| Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they there or
| do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do a
| simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit having to
| ask such a silly question .... but do need help. Thanx
| very much.
| Becky
 
Miss Tick, a lot of people have had computers in the past which included
such software bundles and this leads some to believe it is a part of the
operating system.

They are mistaken of course but it's not an unreasonable assumption if
they've never previously had to purchase the product separately.

As Larry said, "Be nice now Sarah.":-)
 
Well, heck, Jim, after that description the heck with Works, get her phone
number!<VBG>
 
In
Becky said:
Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having loads of
trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP Home
Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they there or
do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do a
simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit having to
ask such a silly question .... but do need help. Thanx
very much.


If you think that Windows XP includes Excel or Works, sorry to
tell you that you're mistaken. Neither it, nor any other version
of Windows, has ever included Works, Excel, Word, PowerPoint,
Access, or any significant other application software. Such
programs have to be bought, either by themselves or as part of
Microsoft Office.

If your previous computer, running an older version of Windows,
came with Excel, it was because the vendor who sold it bundled
Excel as part of the package he sold you, not because that
version of Windows came with Excel.
 
Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User) said:
Miss Tick, a lot of people have had computers in the past which included
such software bundles and this leads some to believe it is a part of the
operating system.

They are mistaken of course but it's not an unreasonable assumption if
they've never previously had to purchase the product separately.

As Larry said, "Be nice now Sarah.":-)

You expect her to be nice when she looks like this, she is the one without
the long hair, and not male!

http://groups.msn.com/upsdrevolt/shoebox.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=45
 
It is all in my mind, she might be fat, ugly and stupid, but
I prefer to think she is the spitting image of Buffy the
Vampire Slayer or Kelly Bundy.

BTW, most blondes are very smart and some hide that fact as
a tactic.

--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.




"Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| Well, heck, Jim, after that description the heck with
Works, get her phone
| number!<VBG>
|
| --
| Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| Windows Shell/User
| Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
|
in message
| | > You sound absolutely lovely, long blonde hair, blue
eyes,
| > slim waist, now to answer the question...you must buy
the
| > applications you want. WORKS has a simple word
processor
| > and flat-file spreadsheets and database, WORKS SUITE
adds
| > the WORD program and OFFICE has WORD, EXCEL, and
OUTLOOK, to
| > get ACCESS you need the OFFICE Pro version.
| >
| > --
| > The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| > But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
| >
| >
| > message | > | Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having loads
of
| > | trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP Home
| > | Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they there
or
| > | do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do a
| > | simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit having to
| > | ask such a silly question .... but do need help. Thanx
| > | very much.
| > | Becky
| >
| >
|
|
 
Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User) said:
We make the same request of you, be nice Tedd.

Not on your life!

As long as she acts like a ¢ünt, I will be a dì¢k to her!
 
I'm intimately familiar with blondes and agree with your assessment that
most blondes are very smart though I find that the case with most women.:-)
 
I don't know why how she acts should concern you unless she acts that way
toward you. In either case, it is between you and her and such matters are
best taken to e-mail. Now, we did step in and do the right thing and
caution her and I think that's all that needs to be said on the subject.
 
Then go get a room and you can both be happy <G>
Please try to remain civil here in the groups.

--
Larry Samuels MS-MVP (Windows-Shell/User)
Associate Expert
Expert Zone -
Unofficial FAQ for Windows Server 2003 at
http://pelos.us/SERVER.htm
 
But redheads are expected to be cunning and brunettes
crafty, but blondes are the craftiest and most cunning
because they play the part of "dumb blonde" so well. The
Goldie Hawn example for example.

But many smart people are ignorant of certain facts, but
experience will fix that.


--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.


"Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| I'm intimately familiar with blondes and agree with your
assessment that
| most blondes are very smart though I find that the case
with most women.:-)
|
| --
| Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| Windows Shell/User
| Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
|
in message
| | > It is all in my mind, she might be fat, ugly and stupid,
but
| > I prefer to think she is the spitting image of Buffy the
| > Vampire Slayer or Kelly Bundy.
| >
| > BTW, most blondes are very smart and some hide that fact
as
| > a tactic.
| >
| > --
| > The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| > But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
| >
| >
| >
| >
| > "Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| > | > | Well, heck, Jim, after that description the heck with
| > Works, get her phone
| > | number!<VBG>
| > |
| > | --
| > | Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| > | Windows Shell/User
| > | Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| > | DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
| > |
| > | "Jim Macklin" <p51mustang[threeX12]@xxxhotmail.calm>
wrote
| > in message
| > | | > | > You sound absolutely lovely, long blonde hair, blue
| > eyes,
| > | > slim waist, now to answer the question...you must
buy
| > the
| > | > applications you want. WORKS has a simple word
| > processor
| > | > and flat-file spreadsheets and database, WORKS SUITE
| > adds
| > | > the WORD program and OFFICE has WORD, EXCEL, and
| > OUTLOOK, to
| > | > get ACCESS you need the OFFICE Pro version.
| > | >
| > | > --
| > | > The people think the Constitution protects their
rights;
| > | > But government sees it as an obstacle to be
overcome.
| > | >
| > | >
in
| > | > message
| > | > | Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having
loads
| > of
| > | > | trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP
Home
| > | > | Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they
there
| > or
| > | > | do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do
a
| > | > | simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit
having to
| > | > | ask such a silly question .... but do need help.
Thanx
| > | > | very much.
| > | > | Becky
| > | >
| > | >
| > |
| > |
| >
| >
|
|
 
My mother was a redhead...cunning, crafty, intelligent; couldn't put
anything past her!

I have no preconceived notions on any of the "types," especially since you
can just as easily run into an exception...but, if you are lucky, you will
run into an exceptional woman!:-)

--
Michael Solomon MS-MVP
Windows Shell/User
Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/

Jim Macklin said:
But redheads are expected to be cunning and brunettes
crafty, but blondes are the craftiest and most cunning
because they play the part of "dumb blonde" so well. The
Goldie Hawn example for example.

But many smart people are ignorant of certain facts, but
experience will fix that.


--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.


"Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| I'm intimately familiar with blondes and agree with your
assessment that
| most blondes are very smart though I find that the case
with most women.:-)
|
| --
| Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| Windows Shell/User
| Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
|
in message
| | > It is all in my mind, she might be fat, ugly and stupid,
but
| > I prefer to think she is the spitting image of Buffy the
| > Vampire Slayer or Kelly Bundy.
| >
| > BTW, most blondes are very smart and some hide that fact
as
| > a tactic.
| >
| > --
| > The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| > But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
| >
| >
| >
| >
| > "Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| > | > | Well, heck, Jim, after that description the heck with
| > Works, get her phone
| > | number!<VBG>
| > |
| > | --
| > | Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| > | Windows Shell/User
| > | Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| > | DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
| > |
| > | "Jim Macklin" <p51mustang[threeX12]@xxxhotmail.calm>
wrote
| > in message
| > | | > | > You sound absolutely lovely, long blonde hair, blue
| > eyes,
| > | > slim waist, now to answer the question...you must
buy
| > the
| > | > applications you want. WORKS has a simple word
| > processor
| > | > and flat-file spreadsheets and database, WORKS SUITE
| > adds
| > | > the WORD program and OFFICE has WORD, EXCEL, and
| > OUTLOOK, to
| > | > get ACCESS you need the OFFICE Pro version.
| > | >
| > | > --
| > | > The people think the Constitution protects their
rights;
| > | > But government sees it as an obstacle to be
overcome.
| > | >
| > | >
in
| > | > message
| > | > | Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having
loads
| > of
| > | > | trouble with my new computer. I have Windows XP
Home
| > | > | Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are they
there
| > or
| > | > | do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even do
a
| > | > | simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit
having to
| > | > | ask such a silly question .... but do need help.
Thanx
| > | > | very much.
| > | > | Becky
| > | >
| > | >
| > |
| > |
| >
| >
|
|
 
Actually I already have.


"Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| My mother was a redhead...cunning, crafty, intelligent;
couldn't put
| anything past her!
|
| I have no preconceived notions on any of the "types,"
especially since you
| can just as easily run into an exception...but, if you are
lucky, you will
| run into an exceptional woman!:-)
|
| --
| Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| Windows Shell/User
| Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
|
in message
| | > But redheads are expected to be cunning and brunettes
| > crafty, but blondes are the craftiest and most cunning
| > because they play the part of "dumb blonde" so well.
The
| > Goldie Hawn example for example.
| >
| > But many smart people are ignorant of certain facts, but
| > experience will fix that.
| >
| >
| > --
| > The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| > But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
| >
| >
| > "Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| > | > | I'm intimately familiar with blondes and agree with
your
| > assessment that
| > | most blondes are very smart though I find that the
case
| > with most women.:-)
| > |
| > | --
| > | Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| > | Windows Shell/User
| > | Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| > | DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
| > |
| > | "Jim Macklin" <p51mustang[threeX12]@xxxhotmail.calm>
wrote
| > in message
| > | | > | > It is all in my mind, she might be fat, ugly and
stupid,
| > but
| > | > I prefer to think she is the spitting image of Buffy
the
| > | > Vampire Slayer or Kelly Bundy.
| > | >
| > | > BTW, most blondes are very smart and some hide that
fact
| > as
| > | > a tactic.
| > | >
| > | > --
| > | > The people think the Constitution protects their
rights;
| > | > But government sees it as an obstacle to be
overcome.
| > | >
| > | >
| > | >
| > | >
| > | > "Michael Solomon (MS-MVP Windows Shell/User)"
| > | > | > | > | Well, heck, Jim, after that description the heck
with
| > | > Works, get her phone
| > | > | number!<VBG>
| > | > |
| > | > | --
| > | > | Michael Solomon MS-MVP
| > | > | Windows Shell/User
| > | > | Backup is a PC User's Best Friend
| > | > | DTS-L.Org: http://www.dts-l.org/
| > | > |
| > | > | "Jim Macklin"
<p51mustang[threeX12]@xxxhotmail.calm>
| > wrote
| > | > in message
| > | > | | > | > | > You sound absolutely lovely, long blonde hair,
blue
| > | > eyes,
| > | > | > slim waist, now to answer the question...you
must
| > buy
| > | > the
| > | > | > applications you want. WORKS has a simple word
| > | > processor
| > | > | > and flat-file spreadsheets and database, WORKS
SUITE
| > | > adds
| > | > | > the WORD program and OFFICE has WORD, EXCEL, and
| > | > OUTLOOK, to
| > | > | > get ACCESS you need the OFFICE Pro version.
| > | > | >
| > | > | > --
| > | > | > The people think the Constitution protects their
| > rights;
| > | > | > But government sees it as an obstacle to be
| > overcome.
| > | > | >
| > | > | >
| > | > | > "Becky" <[email protected]>
wrote
| > in
| > | > | > message
| > | > | > | > | Think I'm being totally 'blonde' but am having
| > loads
| > | > of
| > | > | > | trouble with my new computer. I have Windows
XP
| > Home
| > | > | > | Edition and can't find Works or Excel. Are
they
| > there
| > | > or
| > | > | > | do I have to pay extra for them ? I can't even
do
| > a
| > | > | > | simple spreadsheet !! Feel like a total twit
| > having to
| > | > | > | ask such a silly question .... but do need
help.
| > Thanx
| > | > | > | very much.
| > | > | > | Becky
| > | > | >
| > | > | >
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | >
| > | >
| > |
| > |
| >
| >
|
|
 
Man, this missypissysissypants character sure loves to
spread its lips and let it rip, doesn't it? I wonder
if it ever sought help? Probably not - euthanasia on
human-like beings is hard to get done these days.
Anyone out there willing to push the syringe button?
 
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