They say you are what you eat and if that is true then right now I should resemble a quivering glass of green gloop. One day I got to thinking I should make my own smoothies and a search threw up this wonder machine named a Nutribullet. So after reading all the write-ups I thought I’d get one of those even though they cost a hundred quid. Healthiness is all, right?
I got my Nutribullet (it’s a sort of food processor or nutrient extractor to give it the sales label in case you don’t know) on Thursday and today I made my first whisked up mixture of fruit veg and nuts and drank a litre of the stuff. How did it taste you ask?
Since you ask, well, odd, if you must know. I was not totally convinced. Before I made my first smoothie daughter asked ‘which recipe are you using?’ to which I replied ‘None, I’ll make my own up’. And offspring replied ‘You should stick to the recipes dad, honestly’
Guess what? She was right. Into my first one I put half a banana; a pear; a quarter fresh pineapple; and a couple of handfuls of water cress, spinach, kale, rocket and a sprinkling of pecan nuts. Added water (filtered tap water if you must know) and whisked away.
I had a glass full of something that looked like a prop in a Frankenstein film. So I slurped away and…. That is disgusting! Well, it weren’t that bad but not what I expected. After surveying recipe books and scouting online I figured adding the cress was the mistake, it is NOT recommended as it can change the taste of most everything and overwhelm. This will be a learning process but spinach and kale are meant to have cancer prevention properties, so they say, so they will be my green veg of choice from now on.
It occurred to me I may have left this health kick a little late in life but better late than never eh?
Buying the Nutribullet was interesting too. Ordered from John Lewis, collected from local Waitrose. Saw young girl at service counter, she called manager who went to fetch parcel. Whilst waiting she asked me 'Hope you don't mind me being nosy but what's in your parcel?' I said 'A blow up doll for me and a vibrator for the wife'. She didn't speak to me after that.
Right now the good people at the dental department at Guys Hospital have put what’s left of my teeth to as good as they can possibly be and in early June I go and see the Professor on the 21st floor, Mr Bannerjee who is a terribly nice fellow who has roots in India or Pakistan or Bethnal Green and is going to attempt to make me some false gnashers. This should be interesting.
At part way through patching up my surviving molars on January 15th of this year I visited Guys. The first part of the year at Guys dental department (interestingly, named ‘Special Care & Sedation’ though I’ve never been sedated or, for that matter, been given special care as far as I know) lots of trainee dentists are allowed to have a pop at us hapless victims, er, patients.
Some are good and some are not, which is to be expected but this young guy who looked like he hailed from maybe Cyprus, Morocco, Mauritius or maybe Neasden nearly split my mouth open with his hands. Somebody should really tell them it’s a human being they’re working on, not a crash test dummy.
But I digress, on January 15th a young student white girl treated me and I think she must have over-studied the part of the manual that had as chapter heading ‘Bedside manners’ cos she was well over the top in the niceness department. Honestly girl, you really don’t have to smile and coo that much.
Anyhow, in the course of her exam she was dictating to her nurse and said ‘Lump noticed on roof of mouth’. I’m sitting back in the dentists’ chair looking up at a screen showing the top of a cherry tree or something , bright light shining at me and I hear this and alarm bells go off. Saying ‘lump’ to a former cancer sufferer is worse than saying ‘accounts inspection’ to the head of one of our national banks.
So at the end of my dentists’ visit I ask about the lump, and trainee tooth-quack calls senior molar doctor over. More senior tooth specialist advises me to make appointment with oncologist but ‘It’s probably nothing to worry about’.
Now, I know from experience that those words actually translate to ‘we think you may have cancer again but if you’re quick you may have a better chance of surviving or at least avoiding some really nasty stuff like voice box removal or being fed through a tube into your stomach for the rest of your life’. Ok, I take this in and I think to myself the ENT Dept (Ear Nose & Throat) is in same building and it would take about 1 minute at most for an experienced oncologist to diagnose me but no, I have to make an appointment.
I go home in a bit of a daze and for the forseeable future keep imagining worst scenarios and seriously consider making a will and writing memoirs. And perversely, have frequent fits of laughing and shouting to myself ‘So what?’
The appointment takes three weeks to materialise. This time, to put it mildly, is filled with a great deal of anxiety and almost depression.
The day arrives, I see oncologist, she shines torch in my mouth and declares ‘I don’t see anything there to cause me any concern at all, in fact I don’t see anything as reported by the dentist’ I have to struggle to stop from crying and think to myself ‘I’m going to get drunk’. Lady doctor further elucidates ‘It could have been a blocked saliva duct, a scratch from food, any one of a dozen different reasons but there’s no lump there now’.
I want to kiss her. I also notice how my Indian lady doctor do look a bit tasty. Oops, I’m not supposed to think that am I?
So here we are in 2015 and it’s May time. Feels more like late September time. I’ve been given a Bang and Olufsen posh music centre a Beocenter 3500 which didn’t work. I’ve fixed the main fault, one pole of mains switch was open circuit so just bypassed it. Have bought one power supply capacitor to replace one that had gassed (3300uF 70V - £12-50 if anybody’s interested) and I also now have a replacment drive belt for the turntable that cost me £20.
There’s a very good chance I’ll restore this to working and it 's just had a new stylus fitted as well. It’s silver, plays records and has a tuner and it was made from ’73 to ’79. I’ve also fixed the Perspex lid, fabricated a hinge that had snapped off.
This thing is a bit of a style icon from the seventies and I think if I can get it working I may fetch between £250 and £300 for it. We shall see.
Ok peeps, that’s all I can rattle off for now, I’m sure there’s more but that’ll do, off to some pub in Clapham to see a band tomorrow, meeting some friends I haven’t seen for a while. 4pm – 7pm band is on, this is a good time to visit a pub on a Sunday.
Pip pip!