cirianz
Chatter Box
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2005
- Messages
- 2,390
- Reaction score
- 13
I wasn't sure if I should post in here, or in general, or even at all.
But I'm really at my wits end.
My 13 yo daughter is being targeted by an internet predator (no, not a paedophile, or not as far as I know)
I didn't know for sure until today that this woman (who is in her twenties) wasn't possibly genuine, although it has been my opinion for several months that she is just playing my daughter for attention.
One thing I will allow, she doesn't know how old my daughter is, otherwise I'd be on a F*ckn plane right now, but she does know that my daughter is young.
She has been playing my daughter for nearly 8 months now, IMing her whenever she feels depressed & going all suicidal on her. She has my daughter so wrapped around her finger that she has been in tears a number of times, terrified that her 'friend' Atria will kill herself & it'll all be her fault because she didn't say the right thing or wasn't there when Atria needed her etc etc.
I have told her that I think this woman is playing her for sympathy & attention.
I have told her that this woman is an adult & responsible for her own actions & choices.
I have tried to be supportive, to help her (my daughter) out when she didn't know what to say & was frightened.
I have tried everything I could think of, but I couldn't definitely say that this woman wasn't genuine (altho, even so, I did say that even if she was genuine she was not acting with integrity by dumping it on someone so young)
Today, however, when having one of my less patient conversations with my daughter on the subject, she told me that one of the things Atria had had to endure (she is still buying whatever this woman says regardless of what I say) was that she was the youngest woman in the world to have had uterine cancer having had it at age 16. She (apparently) had had to have chemotherapy & radiation therapy & a hysterectomy but had survived & was still able to have children.
Anyone here can see that this is rubish from start to finish.
My daughter didn't know what a hysterectomy was & so missed the obvious, that it's rather hard to have children without a uterus. But the fact that this woman would even consider that 16yo would be the youngest in the world for any form of cancer shows that she knows nothing about it.
I am probably over reacting a bit because my best friend from childhood did have uterine cancer, albeit when she was 19yo. She was lucky enough to survive it, but will never have children. Something that was very hard to come to terms with at 19 obviously. But she was very well aware of just how lucky she had been nevertheless.
But right now I am seeing this woman using other peoples pain, an abomination in itself, to twist & to hurt my daughter for her own gratification.
I got rather angry, I told my daughter some of the above facts & butted in on their MSN conversation, telling this woman exactly who I am & to stop f*cking with my daughters head.
None of this was the right thing to do. Now I'm the bad guy & my daughter is furiously defending her 'friend' whom she has been talking to most of this evening in order to save her from her evil mother, terrified that I'm somehow going to push this woman over the edge into suicide. This woman has convieniently re-worded some of her claims & has my daughter convinced that it is her own fault for 'misinterpreting' what Atria said.
& I seem to be looking at 3 choices.
Do nothing & hope that (with the occasional bit of nudging perhaps) my daughter will eventually figure this woman out for herself.
Ban all internet contact... something completely unenforceable without banning the internet altogether & it is an essential tool in homeschooling her & my son.
Or stalking my own daughter, something I see as completely reprehensible & was absolutely sickened by when I saw a friends mother do it to her daughter. To do so would be doing even more damage to my daughter than this woman is doing.
& frankly, even if I could put my own morality aside, my daughter is quite clever enough to cover her own tracks so that I would never even be able to tell that she was doing so anyway.
So that brings me back to option one.
And I feel helpless to protect my daughter.
And furious about what this woman is doing.
I suppose that is why I am here & not in general discussion.
A part of me is outraged, more than I can actually say.
How dare she.
But I'm really at my wits end.
My 13 yo daughter is being targeted by an internet predator (no, not a paedophile, or not as far as I know)
I didn't know for sure until today that this woman (who is in her twenties) wasn't possibly genuine, although it has been my opinion for several months that she is just playing my daughter for attention.
One thing I will allow, she doesn't know how old my daughter is, otherwise I'd be on a F*ckn plane right now, but she does know that my daughter is young.
She has been playing my daughter for nearly 8 months now, IMing her whenever she feels depressed & going all suicidal on her. She has my daughter so wrapped around her finger that she has been in tears a number of times, terrified that her 'friend' Atria will kill herself & it'll all be her fault because she didn't say the right thing or wasn't there when Atria needed her etc etc.
I have told her that I think this woman is playing her for sympathy & attention.
I have told her that this woman is an adult & responsible for her own actions & choices.
I have tried to be supportive, to help her (my daughter) out when she didn't know what to say & was frightened.
I have tried everything I could think of, but I couldn't definitely say that this woman wasn't genuine (altho, even so, I did say that even if she was genuine she was not acting with integrity by dumping it on someone so young)
Today, however, when having one of my less patient conversations with my daughter on the subject, she told me that one of the things Atria had had to endure (she is still buying whatever this woman says regardless of what I say) was that she was the youngest woman in the world to have had uterine cancer having had it at age 16. She (apparently) had had to have chemotherapy & radiation therapy & a hysterectomy but had survived & was still able to have children.
Anyone here can see that this is rubish from start to finish.
My daughter didn't know what a hysterectomy was & so missed the obvious, that it's rather hard to have children without a uterus. But the fact that this woman would even consider that 16yo would be the youngest in the world for any form of cancer shows that she knows nothing about it.
I am probably over reacting a bit because my best friend from childhood did have uterine cancer, albeit when she was 19yo. She was lucky enough to survive it, but will never have children. Something that was very hard to come to terms with at 19 obviously. But she was very well aware of just how lucky she had been nevertheless.
But right now I am seeing this woman using other peoples pain, an abomination in itself, to twist & to hurt my daughter for her own gratification.
I got rather angry, I told my daughter some of the above facts & butted in on their MSN conversation, telling this woman exactly who I am & to stop f*cking with my daughters head.
None of this was the right thing to do. Now I'm the bad guy & my daughter is furiously defending her 'friend' whom she has been talking to most of this evening in order to save her from her evil mother, terrified that I'm somehow going to push this woman over the edge into suicide. This woman has convieniently re-worded some of her claims & has my daughter convinced that it is her own fault for 'misinterpreting' what Atria said.
& I seem to be looking at 3 choices.
Do nothing & hope that (with the occasional bit of nudging perhaps) my daughter will eventually figure this woman out for herself.
Ban all internet contact... something completely unenforceable without banning the internet altogether & it is an essential tool in homeschooling her & my son.
Or stalking my own daughter, something I see as completely reprehensible & was absolutely sickened by when I saw a friends mother do it to her daughter. To do so would be doing even more damage to my daughter than this woman is doing.
& frankly, even if I could put my own morality aside, my daughter is quite clever enough to cover her own tracks so that I would never even be able to tell that she was doing so anyway.
So that brings me back to option one.
And I feel helpless to protect my daughter.
And furious about what this woman is doing.
I suppose that is why I am here & not in general discussion.
A part of me is outraged, more than I can actually say.
How dare she.