Prison vs. Work

muckshifter

muckshifter

I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition.
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IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

:D
 
Western Doctors

One day this bloke travels to the Far East on business. He goes to many countries with great success but 3 months later arrives home to find he's contracted a strange disease in the genital region. The doctor gives him the news that his penis has to be amputated.

"But this is terrible, I just cannot accept it. I will consult another physician."

So the bloke sees numerous doctors all over Europe and North America but they all come to the same conclusion. His member has got to be chopped off. Just as the plane's landing at Heathrow the bloke has an idea. If it's an Oriental, Far-Eastern disease then why doesn't he consult an Oriental doctor! So an appointment is made and it's off to Chinatown in London. The bloke explains his problems and the doctor gives a full examination.

"No, I don't think amputation is neccessary", says the oriental doctor. The patient is over the moon.

"Brilliant! I saw dozens of doctors from Europe and America. They all said amputation was the only way."

"Pah!! Western doctors", says the Chinese gentleman with disdain. "What do THEY know !?!. Any doctor worth his salt could tell you that it'll drop off by itself in 4-6 weeks!"

:D
 
That's what comes of people telling me I'm Mad, Crazy & Insane ... Now I believe them. :crazy:
 
muckshifter said:
That's what comes of people telling me I'm Mad, Crazy & Insane ... Now I believe them. :crazy:
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hope u dont mind SM :)


just going through some history here!!!
:)
 
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