One for Mucks [joke]

itsme

itsme

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Paddy were having a pint in the local then another and another and another and another, he started talking to the land lord then had another pint, the landlord said OK Paddy that’s enough you are slurring your words now so go home.

No argument from Paddy up he got and headed home, got to the exit and fell flat on his face got up went outside and fell flat on his face again he looked up and said to himself Oh I can see my house so I am ok crawled across the road opened his front door entered the hall and fell flat on his face, he carried on got to bed and fell to sleep.

In the morning his wife took a cup of tea up to his bedroom. Cor… she said had a good night last night did you love, how do you know said Paddy? >>>>>>>
















Oh his wife replied the landlord just rang and told me you forgot your wheelchair last night.
 
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I'm in outpatients ... rolling on the floor laugh my bloody ass of ... I better go quick.


Nice one Viv


:wave:
 
Paddy's mate, Mick

Mick staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs but misjudged the bottom step. He landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Mick sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Mick woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Mick said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
 
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