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The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and
Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The administration
takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in
Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens
like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In
accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one
terrorist under your personal care.

Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your
residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant
to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will
conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are
commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your
sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these
problems as mere cultural differences.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can
extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is
also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household
products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that
this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views
females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject
for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to
comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over
time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind
them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform
us of the proper way to do our job.

Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!

Cordially,

Don Rumsfeld
 
Salut/Hi peter,

le/on Fri, 28 Jan 2005 17:03:32 -0700, tu disais/you said:-
Did I mention that I am not an American??
Click to expand...

With a xxx.ca address you didn't need to.
I did not mean to stir up a hornets nest of political views....I just thought it
was funny from both sides of the fence
Click to expand...

Funny or not, it was off topic. That's the real problem.
 
A very good idea, unfortunately this LAPDOG program will not
be widely accepted. BTW, this acronym is Liberal Attitude
Political Defenseless Opinion Genepool will require many
years before the results are fully known.



| The White House
| 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
| Washington, D.C.
| Dear Concerned Citizen:
|
| Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment
of the Taliban and
| Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The administration
| takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard
loud and clear here in
| Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the
concerns of citizens
| like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining
Program, to be called the
| "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or
LARK for short. In
| accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we
have decided to place one
| terrorist under your personal care.
|
| Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for
transportation to your
| residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to
be cared for pursuant
| to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of
admonishment. We will
| conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards
of care for Ahmed are
| commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in
your letter.
|
| Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we
hope that your
| sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal
problem" will help him
| overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these
| problems as mere cultural differences.
|
| Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-hand combat and can
| extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil
or nail clippers. He is
| also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices
from common household
| products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up,
unless you feel that
| this might offend him.
|
| Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or
daughters since he views
| females as a subhuman form of property. This is a
particularly sensitive subject
| for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies
around women who fail to
| comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate,
but I'm sure that over
| time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the
bhurka. Just remind
| them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his
religious beliefs.
|
| Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when
folks like you inform
| us of the proper way to do our job.
|
| Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!
|
| Cordially,
|
| Don Rumsfeld
|
|
 
Liberals and sense of humor are mutually exclusive.


--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.


| You need a sense of humor!!:)
| peter
| | > Definitely off topic and totally uncalled for in this
newsgroup. Post your
| > crap somewhere else, troll.
| >
| > Tom
| > | >
| >
|
|
 
| Liberals and sense of humor are mutually exclusive.
|
|
| --
| The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
|

Please share with us your list of favorite conservative comedians. Rush
Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly don't count because the humor is unintentional.
 
| The White House
| 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
| Washington, D.C.
| Dear Concerned Citizen:
|
| Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban
and
| Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The
administration
| takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear
here in
| Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of
citizens
| like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called
the
| "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.
In
| accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to
place one
| terrorist under your personal care.
|
| Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your
| residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for
pursuant
| to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment.
We will
| conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed
are
| commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
|
| Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your
| sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help
him
| overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these
| problems as mere cultural differences.
|
| Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and
can
| extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers.
He is
| also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
household
| products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel
that
| this might offend him.
|
| Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he
views
| females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive
subject
| for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who
fail to
| comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure
that over
| time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just
remind
| them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious
beliefs.
|
| Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
inform
| us of the proper way to do our job.
|
| Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!
|
| Cordially,
|
| Don Rumsfeld
|

Dear Mr. Rumsfeld:

Seeing as though you're the Secretary of Defense and not the Attorney
General, I think you can probably be forgiven for your ignorance of the
Constitution and the fact that here in America we consider suspects to be
innocent until proven guilty. We also expect that our enemies in war will
treat our troops with the same deference to human rights that we afford
their prisoners. Funny, but you Conservatives are always talking about
taking the moral high ground, except when the moral high ground is a little
difficult to hold on to. Then it it appears to be just fine with you to
lower yourself to the moral level of the ones you think are morally
inferior.

I guess what you're saying in your letter is that the government should be
allowed to trample the constituiton and the Geneva Convention when it's
convenient, or when it represents the easy way out. It's *your*
responsibility to take care of prisoners of war in a manner befitting what
we want for our own citizens, but it the job is too tough for you, you know
where the door is.

By the way, how's the search for those weapons of mass destruction going?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Citizen
 
Did I mention that I am not an American??
I did not mean to stir up a hornets nest of political views....I just thought it
was funny from both sides of the fence
peter
 
It is funny.


| Did I mention that I am not an American??
| I did not mean to stir up a hornets nest of political
views....I just thought it
| was funny from both sides of the fence
| peter
| | > The White House
| > 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
| > Washington, D.C.
| > Dear Concerned Citizen:
| >
| > Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our
treatment of the Taliban and
| > Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay,
Cuba. The administration
| > takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was
heard loud and clear here
| > in Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to
the concerns of
| > citizens like you, we are creating the Terrorist
Retraining Program, to be
| > called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers"
program, or LARK for
| > short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new
program, we have decided
| > to place one terrorist under your personal care.
| >
| > Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for
transportation to your
| > residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is
to be cared for
| > pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in
your letter of
| > admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to
ensure that your standards
| > of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so
strongly recommended in
| > your letter.
| >
| > Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we
hope that your
| > sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal
problem" will help him
| > overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these
| > problems as mere cultural differences.
| >
| > Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-hand combat and can
| > extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil
or nail clippers. He
| > is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive
devices from common
| > household products, so you may wish to keep those items
locked up, unless you
| > feel that this might offend him.
| >
| > Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or
daughters since he views
| > females as a subhuman form of property. This is a
particularly sensitive
| > subject for him. He has been known to show violent
tendencies around women who
| > fail to comply with the dress code that he considers
appropriate, but I'm sure
| > that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity
offered by the bhurka.
| > Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his
culture and his
| > religious beliefs.
| >
| > Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it
when folks like you
| > inform us of the proper way to do our job.
| >
| > Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!
| >
| > Cordially,
| >
| > Don Rumsfeld
| >
| >
|
|
 
Raymond said:
Please share with us your list of favorite conservative comedians. Rush
Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly don't count because the humor is unintentional.
Click to expand...

Truer words were never spoken.

--

Bruce Chambers

Help us help you:



You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having
both at once. - RAH
 
Rush Limbaugh calls himself an entertainer and what he does
is well planned and never unintentional. His vocal skills,
ear for music (even after his mechanical ear) are
exceptional. He uses musical parodies on every show.

O'Reilly is not funny or even a conservative, he is just a
pompous ass IMHO.

Jeff Foxworthy is a conservative, at least he was when I
last talked to him (New Years Day several years ago).


--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.




message | Raymond J. Johnson Jr. wrote:
|
| >
| > Please share with us your list of favorite conservative
comedians. Rush
| > Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly don't count because the humor
is unintentional.
| >
| >
|
| Truer words were never spoken.
|
| --
|
| Bruce Chambers
|
| Help us help you:
|
|
|
| You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever
count on having
| both at once. - RAH
 
| Rush Limbaugh calls himself an entertainer and what he does
| is well planned and never unintentional. His vocal skills,
| ear for music (even after his mechanical ear) are
| exceptional. He uses musical parodies on every show.
|
| O'Reilly is not funny or even a conservative, he is just a
| pompous ass IMHO.
|
| Jeff Foxworthy is a conservative, at least he was when I
| last talked to him (New Years Day several years ago).
|

That's quite an impressive list.
 
You're welcome to add to it.


message |
in message
| || Rush Limbaugh calls himself an entertainer and what he
does
|| is well planned and never unintentional. His vocal
skills,
|| ear for music (even after his mechanical ear) are
|| exceptional. He uses musical parodies on every show.
||
|| O'Reilly is not funny or even a conservative, he is just
a
|| pompous ass IMHO.
||
|| Jeff Foxworthy is a conservative, at least he was when I
|| last talked to him (New Years Day several years ago).
||
|
| That's quite an impressive list.
|
|
 
| You're welcome to add to it.
|

No can do. Remember, this was in response to your statement: "Liberals and
sense of humor are mutually exclusive." As I suggested, I think the only
funny conservatives don't mean to be.
 
My primary comment was that Rush Limbaugh intends to be
funny at the same times as he promotes his agenda.

I think Drew Carey is also on the right.


message |
in message
| || You're welcome to add to it.
||
|
| No can do. Remember, this was in response to your
statement: "Liberals and
| sense of humor are mutually exclusive." As I suggested, I
think the only
| funny conservatives don't mean to be.
|
|
 
| I think Drew Carey is also on the right.

Which also supports my contention regarding the dearth of funny
conservatives.
 
Most conservatives don't wear their hearts on their sleeve
the way liberals do.

I still thing Ellen Degenerate is funny and Paula Poundstone
as many others are very funny.

--
The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.



message |
in message
| |
|| I think Drew Carey is also on the right.
|
| Which also supports my contention regarding the dearth of
funny
| conservatives.
|
|
|
 
| Most conservatives don't wear their hearts on their sleeve
| the way liberals do.
|
| I still thing Ellen Degenerate is funny and Paula Poundstone
| as many others are very funny.
|
| --
| The people think the Constitution protects their rights;
| But government sees it as an obstacle to be overcome.
|
|
|
| message | |
| in message
| | | |
| || I think Drew Carey is also on the right.
| |
| | Which also supports my contention regarding the dearth of
| funny
| | conservatives.
| |
| |

And you guys accused John Kerry of flip-flopping. So I guess that sense of
humor and liberalism aren't mutually exclusive after all. Here's a hint for
you: referring to "Ellen Degenerate" isn't cute or funny; it's stupid.
 
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