G
Guest
This may be TMI to some of you; I warn you now. And this has nothing to do
with a computer problem. This is a follow up to my Jan 4 post asking how to
get into her email. To those who support and criticize me, thank you for
your comments. I told my wife there was no “us†unless I heard all the
details. We had it out last night. She confessed she had sex with this guy
twice. Both times she told me she was meeting with friends from work. She
said the sex was terrible, short, awkward and humiliating. I feel better
knowing this and that he had the decency to use a condom and not do oral sex.
She admitted it was all her idea and the cell phone records show she was the
one doing the chasing. I know I do not have the strength to say “no†to a
women as good looking as she is. So I do forgive him. Under different
circumstances he would not fair as well. She said she was desperate to find
someone to talk to and I admit I have not had the patience to be a good
listener. Kids, dog, house, job as a leader making a good living, I don’t
have the time to be there for her. Some of you said it was my fault; you are
right. I have not been a good husband. I drove her to find someone else.
She is at fault also. She has not done a good job of insisting on my
attention. She is the one that stepped over the boundary. She could have
only talked with him. This guy is well versed and a good listener. She
broke it off with him, but did not tell him I knew. This past week has been
a calamity; I have my first million but almost lost the love of my life.
Thank god for cell phone records. She said she expected me to notice sooner
or later, I would not have had she not talked to him for hours. I now need
to build my trust in her so we can salvage this marriage for our kid’s sake
and ours. I love her very much and forgive her in light of my poor behavior.
She meets all my needs and more. She says she loves me very much also, but
our interaction has to change for our marriage to continue. I understand
that, and am able to do that. She doesn’t want to go to a marriage consular
and would divorce me if she knew I was putting all this on the web. We get a
blood test in the morning to ensure we didn’t catch anything. Now, I need a
way to build trust between us and though I’ve said I’ll change my ways, I
still fear she will cheat. With her looks, there will be other guys chasing
her. Someone called her the other day about a knitting class and she had to
turn it down because it was in the town this guys lives. She wanted to take
my daughter to it, but knows I would always wonder what else is going on. I
hope this is a lesson for all of you. I don’t have access to house phone
records or her e-mail but I feel that is the only way to monitor her and
build trust between us. All suggestions and criticism welcome. Below is a
reprint of an earlier reply…….I am an engineer caught up in my job and have
not balanced work and life well enough. That said, back in July she had
someone asking around if she was married or not. Being married didn't stop
him from stalking her until it came close to me calling the head of Human
Resources at their work to have him stop. She did not like his advances.
Both of them rotated jobs and found themselves working together a few months
later. She was organizing Xmas gifts for people at work and I asked about
one of them. She said it was for him and I asked what changed. She said she
was wrong about him and he was quite pleasant. Last week I wondered my the
cell phone bill was high and
went on line and found they had many long phone conversations. I ignored it
hoping it was nothing and would casually talk to her about it sometime. I
went through her wallet looking for a missing credit card last week and found
his business card with his home address hand written on the back. I went
through her planner and found a hand written map to his house. I went
through her dressor and found contraceptives with most gone. I've been fixed
for years. I have confronted her about all this and she says there is
nothing between them. I love my wife and even if she had an affair I would
keep her knowing how easily this sort of thing could happen. She has lost 75
Lbs over the past year and is quite beautiful. I get offers at work from
guys looking at her photos on my desk. She needs to earn my trust back, but
I don't think she's coming clean. I need to know more about what went on and
what continues to go on. They continue to work together. Thanks for
understanding.
with a computer problem. This is a follow up to my Jan 4 post asking how to
get into her email. To those who support and criticize me, thank you for
your comments. I told my wife there was no “us†unless I heard all the
details. We had it out last night. She confessed she had sex with this guy
twice. Both times she told me she was meeting with friends from work. She
said the sex was terrible, short, awkward and humiliating. I feel better
knowing this and that he had the decency to use a condom and not do oral sex.
She admitted it was all her idea and the cell phone records show she was the
one doing the chasing. I know I do not have the strength to say “no†to a
women as good looking as she is. So I do forgive him. Under different
circumstances he would not fair as well. She said she was desperate to find
someone to talk to and I admit I have not had the patience to be a good
listener. Kids, dog, house, job as a leader making a good living, I don’t
have the time to be there for her. Some of you said it was my fault; you are
right. I have not been a good husband. I drove her to find someone else.
She is at fault also. She has not done a good job of insisting on my
attention. She is the one that stepped over the boundary. She could have
only talked with him. This guy is well versed and a good listener. She
broke it off with him, but did not tell him I knew. This past week has been
a calamity; I have my first million but almost lost the love of my life.
Thank god for cell phone records. She said she expected me to notice sooner
or later, I would not have had she not talked to him for hours. I now need
to build my trust in her so we can salvage this marriage for our kid’s sake
and ours. I love her very much and forgive her in light of my poor behavior.
She meets all my needs and more. She says she loves me very much also, but
our interaction has to change for our marriage to continue. I understand
that, and am able to do that. She doesn’t want to go to a marriage consular
and would divorce me if she knew I was putting all this on the web. We get a
blood test in the morning to ensure we didn’t catch anything. Now, I need a
way to build trust between us and though I’ve said I’ll change my ways, I
still fear she will cheat. With her looks, there will be other guys chasing
her. Someone called her the other day about a knitting class and she had to
turn it down because it was in the town this guys lives. She wanted to take
my daughter to it, but knows I would always wonder what else is going on. I
hope this is a lesson for all of you. I don’t have access to house phone
records or her e-mail but I feel that is the only way to monitor her and
build trust between us. All suggestions and criticism welcome. Below is a
reprint of an earlier reply…….I am an engineer caught up in my job and have
not balanced work and life well enough. That said, back in July she had
someone asking around if she was married or not. Being married didn't stop
him from stalking her until it came close to me calling the head of Human
Resources at their work to have him stop. She did not like his advances.
Both of them rotated jobs and found themselves working together a few months
later. She was organizing Xmas gifts for people at work and I asked about
one of them. She said it was for him and I asked what changed. She said she
was wrong about him and he was quite pleasant. Last week I wondered my the
cell phone bill was high and
went on line and found they had many long phone conversations. I ignored it
hoping it was nothing and would casually talk to her about it sometime. I
went through her wallet looking for a missing credit card last week and found
his business card with his home address hand written on the back. I went
through her planner and found a hand written map to his house. I went
through her dressor and found contraceptives with most gone. I've been fixed
for years. I have confronted her about all this and she says there is
nothing between them. I love my wife and even if she had an affair I would
keep her knowing how easily this sort of thing could happen. She has lost 75
Lbs over the past year and is quite beautiful. I get offers at work from
guys looking at her photos on my desk. She needs to earn my trust back, but
I don't think she's coming clean. I need to know more about what went on and
what continues to go on. They continue to work together. Thanks for
understanding.