OK--I think there's something significantly "hosed" (technical term) about
your install.
Here's what I'd try first:
Shut down Microsoft Antispyware by right-clicking on the notification area
icon and choosing shut down, if possible.
Delete or rename \program files\microsoft antispyware\gcUserData.gcd
Then restart Microsoft Antispyware. You will get the setup wizard again,
but with luck, this will be the last time.
Then see whether you can open the program and go to File, Check for updates,
followed by Help, about, as in the earlier message.
IF THAT FAILS:
next idea:
1) Uninstall Microsoft Antispyware
2) Delete \program files\microsoft antispyware and all subfolders. You will
lose access to any quarantined items, history, and custom settings.
3) reinstall Microsoft Antispyware from a current version download, taking
care to be logged in as an administrator.
If you get stuck anywhere in that process--write back--and let me know how
it goes, in any case.
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