help :(

henkjan

henkjan

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o boy i messed it up. i made my girlfriend feel bad, i'm so stupid.
i should have just accepted her the way she is, but i guess i'm too late.
a man doesn't know what he has till he loses it..
i want to do something special for her.. can anyone help me?
i don't wanna lose her :( i would do anything for her.
 
help is here

Firstly want did you do wrong? That way we know how deep in the brown stuff you are!!
 
well, i somehow let her know that i think she's a little childish..
but i didn't actually say that...
i'm so dumb
 
Have you thought of telling her how your feelings towards her.
I'm not the best person to give advice, see what others post here!
 
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i did.. i wrote her a letter in wich i explained how sorry i am and that i don't care how she is. and that she's not childish.
but after she read it she gave me the letter back and told me that the tension was too high..
 
Henkjan .

1. Buy her some flowers ...(The Red Roses)

http://www.1stinflowers.com/city_E-H/interflora_Holland.html

2. Cook her a romantic meal (if you cant cook get a takeaway and pretend you cooked...again her favourite food) and put on some music (All the songs she likes) this will release feelgood chemicals in her brain .

3. Compliment her ( Try a few of these)

I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

Tell her how much she means to you and that you are deeply sorry .....and all the time try to make her smile ...remind her of the good times you shared ...



If all this doesnt work ...try plan B :thumb:
 
Dude

What EXACTLY, in your EXACT WORDS did you say to her, and about what? (if that can be said here)

How long have you been together?

We'll do all we can ;)
 
17th april we will be together for 6 months..
Dinner is allready passed.. well, i guess it will be allright.
and i can't pretend that i can cook well.
or that i even know what her favorite dinner or music is.
she tells me: i like all the food and all the music.
i can compliment her.
i can't lie and i believed in angels befor i met her.
i will try my best.. even if that's the worste i could do.
 
Do as Rush says, you also need to woo her again, make her feel special, admit you were wrong & let us know how you get on:thumb:
 
By Henkjan
17th april we will be together for 6 months..
Click to expand...
That is my wifes birthday !!

Do you want to know what Plan B is ????...it is only worth trying if my plan A fails ....
 
"Sorry" is the word that says it all:thumb:

If I made you cry.... If I told a lie....that`s why you said goodby... I`m Sorry;)
 
Rush said:
Henkjan .

1. Buy her some flowers ...(The Red Roses)

http://www.1stinflowers.com/city_E-H/interflora_Holland.html

2. Cook her a romantic meal (if you cant cook get a takeaway and pretend you cooked...again her favourite food) and put on some music (All the songs she likes) this will release feelgood chemicals in her brain .

3. Compliment her ( Try a few of these)

I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

Tell her how much she means to you and that you are deeply sorry .....and all the time try to make her smile ...remind her of the good times you shared ...



If all this doesnt work ...try plan B :thumb:
Click to expand...

Sorry rush, but if I was the girl & you 'pulled a line' like that with me it would be a "thanks but no thanks." I'm with itsme on this.

Just say sorry.
Be sincere.
Talk TO her, not at her.
Listen big time.
& don't try & justify (or even explain) whatever you did/said.
Just accept responsibility for your own actions, apologise for them & tell her how you feel about her.

Chances are pretty high that any sentance that starts with "I'm sorry but...." Isn't an apology.

Just a womans viewpoint.
 
it's all to hard to explain. she says she has to let me go because she doesn't wants to hurt me.
but it's hard to understand even for me.
she has some kind of mental desease, and she can get very angry very sad or very scared.
but she has it all double. she doesn't just get angry, she gets super-angry super sad and she panics.
i never saw her getting very mad or anything but she says that if we continue in our relationship she will get mad sooner or later. and she said that she doesn't wanna hurt me because she loves me, and that's the sweetest things she has ever said to me.
that's the sweestest things anyone has ever said to me.
 
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Sory to hear that, Henkjan. Sounds like it would have been a very difficult relationship :o
 
Is she manic-depressive/bipolar? Or mildly schizophrenic? Whatever her disorder it does not make a relationship impossible if you BOTH want to continue with it. The main thing needed is to find out what the disorder is & learn everything that you can about it so that you can identify when it is the disorder speaking & know not to take it personally.
But even so it will not be easy for either of you & you will need a strong sense of your own self worth not to be hurt by the things she says. And a great deal of patience & internal calmness to ride the waves.
And also to recognise that she also is making a tremendous effort to monitor her own behaviour, even though she will not suceed all of the time & that the effort will generally be impossible to see from the outside.

But like I said, a relationship like this is very difficult & a huge commitment from both of you. You both have to be willing to make that commitment yourselves & to allow the other to make their own choice for themself (her included) & to respect that choice. It sounds like you both care about each other very much & I don't envy you your situation at all. But, as you will have seen, there is much support for you here, whatever choices you may make.
 
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