There are really no rules when it comes to ROC, GEM and DEE. It's the
domain of image editing and then it depends on a person's subjective
estimation of what looks good. For example, to one person an image may
appear too grainy, but to another it may look just fine.
I personally don't use the tools but I did play with them briefly. As
you say the default settings usually produce very good results.
However, if you find that an image looks weird then try adjusting the
settings. I'm afraid there's no other way.
The only problem is that each time you do that and change the settings
you have to rescan all over again which is a pain (and it takes time).
So - if you don't know this already - but those tools are also
available as standalone Photoshop plug-ins which actually have even
more features then the cut-down versions included with NikonScan.
But the main advantage is you can then apply them to any image
repeatedly. So there is no need to rescan like you do with the
"built-in" NikonScan versions. Also, you can use the standalone
versions on images from your digicam and all other sources.
You can download all three - GEM (Grain Equalisation Management), ROC
(Restoration Of Color) and SHO (Shadow & Highlight Optimized) from
Kodak as a Photoshop plug-in.
I only have the original link handy:
http://www.asf.com
but I think that will point you to the current Kodak site repository.
BTW, roughly speaking, "SHO" is the standalone equivalent of DEE.
The try-out versions put a watermark until you purchase them.