"Big 5 Consultants" vs. PortOPotties

[William Ryan]

Perhaps this isn't the best venue to vent...but I was
just wondering if anyone else has had an experience like
my current one. (This does actually relate to ADO.NET -
unfortunately)

I was working on a project where some consultants from a
company who's former initials looked something like GMPK
but has recently changed their name to somethign like
OverBearing Point. The second underling in charge of
everything was a very talented IT expert with a Finance
in undergrad and a MBA in International Business. He
took one course on Information Technology in the
Enterprise which qualified him to do everyting from
designign robust object classes to 'normalizing' tables
(In that class, from the tone of his ideas, they had a
really novel approach to normalization which basically
can be summed up as this - every table should have at
least 100 fields. Primary keys and other constraints
are 'problematic' b/c they cause programmers to code more
slowly and time is money. Relating tables is bad b/c
modern RDBMS systems don't handle joins very well, flat
tables are ALWAYS the fastest. It's totally cool to
store ImageFiles as Blobs in tables with 100+ fields even
if they are going to contain 10,000,000 fields).

From inference, programmers spend too much time writing
code...filling in Percent Complete on MS Project is a
much more efficient use of time. Having programmers send
around an Excel spreadsheet is also a good use of there
time b/c it makes it easier for consultants to import
data.

Also, every thing in the world must come with a
Delta. "<Programmer Name>, what was the delta
on ...<fill in the blank even if there isn't a delta
available>" If a Delta can't be
calculated... "<Programmer>, I know you went to CMU and
have a MS in a real subject, but if you can't calculate a
simple Delta on the absolute difference between two null
values, I think I'll have to take issue with that, and
we'll have to take it off-line" "<Programmer Name>, we
are here to empower you to do your job. As one of the
resources on this project, you need to understand we are
here to help. We all need to focus on our core
competencies. Ours is developing the system
architecture, your's is implementing it. Many 'techies'
such as yourself have a hard time accepting that non-
technical guys serve customer much better as architects
than 'techies' do, but you don't need to be Limberg to
know that the airplane seat is too small"

And for the best part...... "ADO.NET was great
technology, but it's overrated and it's still buggy. I
won't argue nuance with you. But you don't understand it
enough to get out of the <EMPHASIS ADDED> DISCONNECTED
mindset. It's soooo, early 90's. It's a holdover from a
time long lost. No one buys into the whole disconnected
thing anymore. You need to think in XML, not
disconnected dogma."

At least E.F. Codd isn't around to hear this 'wisdom'.
My regard for 'Big 5' consulatants (vs. Real Consulants
like Wintellect) is like the delta between Null and
Taking it offline (see, I'm learning). Am I alone?

Sorry for the long post, just thought someone else might
have dealt with this and could use a good laugh.

sreecH,


lliB,

Not making fun of

tnioP gnireaB - or you lauP.

 

[One Handed Man]

Since I started working alone from home I don't often get involved with
these type of situations. However, having worked in the corporate
environment for some considerable time, I can relate to your experiences.



The length of your post and careful nature really demonstrated how F&*k@d
off you are about it. I have definitely met this man in finance on more than
one occasion and in more than one company.



What I usually like to do is to wait for a flaw in their logic, and then use
questioning to expose it. You say something like. "OK Sam, that point was
really important and I want to ensure I thoroughly understand this. Now, can
you explain . . . . " And expose them in public, its great to see the look
of cognition and fear in their faces when they are forced to expose the
generalisations they make (which are meant to make them sound all knowing an
very competent).



The best thing about it, is that you are only seen in a positive light by
everyone else because you are not challenging them, simply wanting to
discuss and understand. Its great !!!!
--
Regards - One Handed Man

Author : Fish .NET & Keep .NET

==============================

 

[sam]

I forgot to add this..

on my last big project, we were suffering so much from lack of management
support at both the design specification and user testing stages, and
getting so much scope creep: they kept giving us very vague specs, then the
moment we showed them what we had produced, suddenly the were full of ideas
and extensions and other things to add. The project was really suffering as
a result. So we downloaded that Why Projects Fail essay (I give the link in
the above post) and gave it to every member of management.

When they sat there and read through a list of management mistakes in the
essay that *precisely* described their own behaviour and approach to our
project, and when they read how detrimental it is to a project's success
(and therefore Return On Investment), it gave them all a rude wake up call.

From then on, we (the senior developers) were empowered with creating a set
of best practices for design specifications, testing and development. The
project immediately became more successful as a result. Sometimes you have
to force through changes yourself.

Sam