L
Laura Fredericks
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To the acv and acav newbies...
The e-mail, below was sent anonymously to Rod Fewster a few
years ago. It has been reprinted several times in acv. I'm
reposting it for our newer "regulars".
To this day, no one has owned up to authorship of this
brilliant, satirical piece. We've had our suspicions, but none
could be confirmed.
Some names suggested were 4Q, myself (impossible, since I
wasn't around acv at the beginning), andi Lee, Bill Blevins and
Mr. Fewster, himself.
Note: If you don't know who Rod Fewster is, you are hereby
ordered to UNSUBSCRIBE from this ng ASAP!!! Rod is legend. Rod
is God. (Not to be confused with Rob 'god' Rosenberger. He's
"god" little-g.)
When you're done reading it, check out this other excellent
satire, written by another acv old-timer, Andrew Lee. (Not
"old" like Art Kopp-old <snicker>, but "old" like in around acv
from its inception.)
ACV FAMILY TREE - PART 1
©* Andrew "gladius" Lee
http://pingu.4t.com/family_tree_1.txt
ACV FAMILY THREE - PART 2
©* Andrew "gladius" Lee
http://pingu.4t.com/family_tree_2.txt
*"©" added to give Mr. Shagnasty his thrills. <snicker>
Enjoy!
* * * * * * * * * *
- ----- Original Message -----
From: "Anonymous" <[email protected]>
To: Rod Fewster
Sent: Monday, 11 November, 2002 03:24
This is the alt.comp.virus Historical Hall of Fame.
If your name's not mentioned here it's because you ain't worth
shit.
4Q:
Hunter S Thompson with a sense of humour.
AkHibby:
Nanook of The North - typing from a frozen keyboard.
Alan Candy:
Cardinal Bernard Law with a sixpence on a string in his free
hand.
Andrew Lee:
A split personality John Cleese with more names than Andreas
Barlev.
Anonymous:
Who gives a flying **** ?
Art Kopp:
Ebenezer Scrooge with an unhealthy fixation on free anti-virus
software.
Bart Bailey:
A former member of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters who still
thinks Timothy Leary was God.
Bill Blevins:
A professional AVP shill who accepts leather jackets as
payment.
Bradleym:
The founder of alt.comp.virus - and its first poster.
Brian Barlev:
A mentally deranged chimpanzee who used to think he was a
Viking but now thinks he's a Maori.
Bruce Burrell:
The official alt.comp.virus Deputy Sheriff and keeper of the
FDISK/Mumble scrolls.
Charles T. Johnston:
A drug-addicted 10-4 Good Buddy wuss who changes anti-virus
programs faster than he changes his underpants.
Doren Rosenthal:
A pain in the ass whose virus simulations are still a pain in
the ass. Professor Timo Salmi's best friend.
Frederic Bonroy:
A David Letterman clone - too dumb to know whether he's a Kraut
or a Frog.
FromTheRafters:
Starred in Die Fledermaus - sleeps hanging upside down in a
dark cellar.
George Wenzel:
A Bruce Lee clone wearing a cat on his head. Full time Zvi
Netiv baiter.
Graham Cluley:
Minnesota Fats with a donut in one hand and a bottle of Snake
Oil in the other.
Guillermito:
The rarest of God's creatures - a Frog with intelligence.
Gabriele Neukam:
Kraut arachnid expert who starred in Kiss of The Spiderwoman -
as the spider.
Gabriela Salvisberg:
The Head Mistress of a Swiss Finishing School for Young Ladies.
Gene Wirchenko:
Official alt.comp.virus clown maker and professional Zvi Netiv
baiter.
Heather Figueroa:
A Charles Darwin clone looking for the missing link between
Brian Barlev and homo sapiens.
Iolo Davidson:
An ex-communicated Welsh priest with a Burma-Shave fetish.
Part time Zvi Netiv baiter.
James Egan:
A wannabee flamer who thought he was smarter than Rodzilla.
Jed Connors:
A wannabee Hell's Angel who thought he was smarter than
Rodzilla.
Jeffrey A. Setaro:
Official alt.comp.virus photographer - suspected of taking the
infamous 18" Schlong pic.
Juha Saarinen:
One time alt.comp.virus journalist and full time professional
Zvi Netiv baiter.
Kurt Wismer:
A Clarence Darrow clone whose ambition is to moderate
alt.comp.virus. Part time Zvi Netiv baiter.
Larry De Haan:
A wannabee John Allen Muhammad.
Laura Fredericks:
Xaviera Hollander after a year at Gabriela's Swiss Finishing
School for Young Ladies.
Lee Higdon:
A former hippie who denies being a former hippie.
Miner:
John Cleese without the funny walk.
Nick FitzGerald:
A graduate of the Rod Fewster School of Usenet Mayhem with
brass knuckles on *both* hands.
Nicky:
A Limey who talks like an Aussie - mate.
Nina Irwin:
Canada's very own Kofi Anan clone.
Old Boozer:
Pass the Budweiser.
Omnivore:
A virus wannabee and an anti-virus wannabee in one neat
package.
Steve Topilnycky:
A retired professional Norton shill who hasn't retired yet.
Pax:
A James Bond clone with a Bazooka in the glove compartment of
his Ferrari.
Paul Schmehl:
alt.comp.virus's only living full time serious poster.
Pierre Vandevenne:
A wannabee biologist who switched to computer viruses when all
his patients died.
Raid:
A pot-smoking gun-toting redneck ASIC coder who drives a
monster truck.
Robert Green:
An anti-virus wannabee who wants to marry Zvi Netiv.
Rob Rosenberger:
A myth is as good as a mile.
Robert Moir:
Microsoft's official spy in alt.comp.virus.
Rod:Fewster:
Rambo with a seeing eye dog and a Buddhist prayer wheel. The
original Zvi Netiv baiter.
RVC:
An illegal Pit Bull fight promoter who quotes 500 lines and top
posts 5 word replies.
Sara:
A deceased Irish poet and closet Sin Fein hit woman.
Scaredy Kat:
Anyone who hates dogs and small children can't be all that bad.
S.NAPper:
A refugee from an ugly dwarf throwing contest who uses a stylus
shoved up his ass to type.
Stalker Steve:
A Rent-A-Cop with an MCP badge.
Sugien:
The World Champion God Bothering Plagiarist and Code Ripper -
currently in denial.
Tarkan Yetiser:
An official alt.comp.virus clown - now retired.
Tracker:
A wannabee Kevin Mitnick with a root kit up her ass and shit
for brains.
Ted Saari:
A professional Invircible shill and a general pain in the ass.
Troy McClure:
A professional Norton shill who couldn't stand the heat.
Verdun/Blooven:
A wannabee Jed Connors clone with a very small penis and a very
big keyboard.
Vesselin Bontchev:
He's not the Dark Avenger - he's just a naughty boy. A master
Zvi Netiv baiter.
Wessel:
A Kofi Anan clone who keeps his foreskin in a jar by the door.
Zvi Netiv:
An anti-virus fringe dweller and official alt.comp.virus clown
- - famous for blowing his own trumpet.
* * * * * * * * * *
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Comment: MY PUBLIC KEY www.queenofcyberspace.com/laura_fredericks.asc
iQA/AwUBQS+n0KRseRzHUwOaEQLOngCfb9zxTp4n+l/20TJCis3iXUtR0zUAnjR4
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--
Laura Fredericks
PGP key ID - DH/DSS 2048/1024: 0xC753039A
Usenet Flamewars:
http://www.queenofcyberspace.com/usenet/
Remove CLOTHES to reply.
Hash: SHA1
To the acv and acav newbies...
The e-mail, below was sent anonymously to Rod Fewster a few
years ago. It has been reprinted several times in acv. I'm
reposting it for our newer "regulars".
To this day, no one has owned up to authorship of this
brilliant, satirical piece. We've had our suspicions, but none
could be confirmed.
Some names suggested were 4Q, myself (impossible, since I
wasn't around acv at the beginning), andi Lee, Bill Blevins and
Mr. Fewster, himself.
Note: If you don't know who Rod Fewster is, you are hereby
ordered to UNSUBSCRIBE from this ng ASAP!!! Rod is legend. Rod
is God. (Not to be confused with Rob 'god' Rosenberger. He's
"god" little-g.)
When you're done reading it, check out this other excellent
satire, written by another acv old-timer, Andrew Lee. (Not
"old" like Art Kopp-old <snicker>, but "old" like in around acv
from its inception.)
ACV FAMILY TREE - PART 1
©* Andrew "gladius" Lee
http://pingu.4t.com/family_tree_1.txt
ACV FAMILY THREE - PART 2
©* Andrew "gladius" Lee
http://pingu.4t.com/family_tree_2.txt
*"©" added to give Mr. Shagnasty his thrills. <snicker>
Enjoy!
* * * * * * * * * *
- ----- Original Message -----
From: "Anonymous" <[email protected]>
To: Rod Fewster
Sent: Monday, 11 November, 2002 03:24
This is the alt.comp.virus Historical Hall of Fame.
If your name's not mentioned here it's because you ain't worth
shit.
4Q:
Hunter S Thompson with a sense of humour.
AkHibby:
Nanook of The North - typing from a frozen keyboard.
Alan Candy:
Cardinal Bernard Law with a sixpence on a string in his free
hand.
Andrew Lee:
A split personality John Cleese with more names than Andreas
Barlev.
Anonymous:
Who gives a flying **** ?
Art Kopp:
Ebenezer Scrooge with an unhealthy fixation on free anti-virus
software.
Bart Bailey:
A former member of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters who still
thinks Timothy Leary was God.
Bill Blevins:
A professional AVP shill who accepts leather jackets as
payment.
Bradleym:
The founder of alt.comp.virus - and its first poster.
Brian Barlev:
A mentally deranged chimpanzee who used to think he was a
Viking but now thinks he's a Maori.
Bruce Burrell:
The official alt.comp.virus Deputy Sheriff and keeper of the
FDISK/Mumble scrolls.
Charles T. Johnston:
A drug-addicted 10-4 Good Buddy wuss who changes anti-virus
programs faster than he changes his underpants.
Doren Rosenthal:
A pain in the ass whose virus simulations are still a pain in
the ass. Professor Timo Salmi's best friend.
Frederic Bonroy:
A David Letterman clone - too dumb to know whether he's a Kraut
or a Frog.
FromTheRafters:
Starred in Die Fledermaus - sleeps hanging upside down in a
dark cellar.
George Wenzel:
A Bruce Lee clone wearing a cat on his head. Full time Zvi
Netiv baiter.
Graham Cluley:
Minnesota Fats with a donut in one hand and a bottle of Snake
Oil in the other.
Guillermito:
The rarest of God's creatures - a Frog with intelligence.
Gabriele Neukam:
Kraut arachnid expert who starred in Kiss of The Spiderwoman -
as the spider.
Gabriela Salvisberg:
The Head Mistress of a Swiss Finishing School for Young Ladies.
Gene Wirchenko:
Official alt.comp.virus clown maker and professional Zvi Netiv
baiter.
Heather Figueroa:
A Charles Darwin clone looking for the missing link between
Brian Barlev and homo sapiens.
Iolo Davidson:
An ex-communicated Welsh priest with a Burma-Shave fetish.
Part time Zvi Netiv baiter.
James Egan:
A wannabee flamer who thought he was smarter than Rodzilla.
Jed Connors:
A wannabee Hell's Angel who thought he was smarter than
Rodzilla.
Jeffrey A. Setaro:
Official alt.comp.virus photographer - suspected of taking the
infamous 18" Schlong pic.
Juha Saarinen:
One time alt.comp.virus journalist and full time professional
Zvi Netiv baiter.
Kurt Wismer:
A Clarence Darrow clone whose ambition is to moderate
alt.comp.virus. Part time Zvi Netiv baiter.
Larry De Haan:
A wannabee John Allen Muhammad.
Laura Fredericks:
Xaviera Hollander after a year at Gabriela's Swiss Finishing
School for Young Ladies.
Lee Higdon:
A former hippie who denies being a former hippie.
Miner:
John Cleese without the funny walk.
Nick FitzGerald:
A graduate of the Rod Fewster School of Usenet Mayhem with
brass knuckles on *both* hands.
Nicky:
A Limey who talks like an Aussie - mate.
Nina Irwin:
Canada's very own Kofi Anan clone.
Old Boozer:
Pass the Budweiser.
Omnivore:
A virus wannabee and an anti-virus wannabee in one neat
package.
Steve Topilnycky:
A retired professional Norton shill who hasn't retired yet.
Pax:
A James Bond clone with a Bazooka in the glove compartment of
his Ferrari.
Paul Schmehl:
alt.comp.virus's only living full time serious poster.
Pierre Vandevenne:
A wannabee biologist who switched to computer viruses when all
his patients died.
Raid:
A pot-smoking gun-toting redneck ASIC coder who drives a
monster truck.
Robert Green:
An anti-virus wannabee who wants to marry Zvi Netiv.
Rob Rosenberger:
A myth is as good as a mile.
Robert Moir:
Microsoft's official spy in alt.comp.virus.
Rod:Fewster:
Rambo with a seeing eye dog and a Buddhist prayer wheel. The
original Zvi Netiv baiter.
RVC:
An illegal Pit Bull fight promoter who quotes 500 lines and top
posts 5 word replies.
Sara:
A deceased Irish poet and closet Sin Fein hit woman.
Scaredy Kat:
Anyone who hates dogs and small children can't be all that bad.
S.NAPper:
A refugee from an ugly dwarf throwing contest who uses a stylus
shoved up his ass to type.
Stalker Steve:
A Rent-A-Cop with an MCP badge.
Sugien:
The World Champion God Bothering Plagiarist and Code Ripper -
currently in denial.
Tarkan Yetiser:
An official alt.comp.virus clown - now retired.
Tracker:
A wannabee Kevin Mitnick with a root kit up her ass and shit
for brains.
Ted Saari:
A professional Invircible shill and a general pain in the ass.
Troy McClure:
A professional Norton shill who couldn't stand the heat.
Verdun/Blooven:
A wannabee Jed Connors clone with a very small penis and a very
big keyboard.
Vesselin Bontchev:
He's not the Dark Avenger - he's just a naughty boy. A master
Zvi Netiv baiter.
Wessel:
A Kofi Anan clone who keeps his foreskin in a jar by the door.
Zvi Netiv:
An anti-virus fringe dweller and official alt.comp.virus clown
- - famous for blowing his own trumpet.
* * * * * * * * * *
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: PGP 8.1
Comment: MY PUBLIC KEY www.queenofcyberspace.com/laura_fredericks.asc
iQA/AwUBQS+n0KRseRzHUwOaEQLOngCfb9zxTp4n+l/20TJCis3iXUtR0zUAnjR4
TFRYxbLKEwJYcrPboMrvn7o/
=FLLD
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
--
Laura Fredericks
PGP key ID - DH/DSS 2048/1024: 0xC753039A
Usenet Flamewars:
http://www.queenofcyberspace.com/usenet/
Remove CLOTHES to reply.
